There is something about trust that is universally known. Once it is broken, it will never be the same. Is that myth? A fact?
There is no right or wrong answer.
Personally, I have never restored my trust in a person after a betrayal. Trust me, I tried to do so, but rebuilding trust felt nearly impossible. Here are 3 questions to ask yourself when considering giving someone a second chance.
- Are they genuinely sorry? As in, will they never repeat the same offense again? It is hard to judge without giving someone another chance to prove themselves. I believe that the best apology is changed behavior.
- Was it intentional or non-intentional? There are cases when a betrayal happens unintentionally. For example, saying hurtful things out of anger, pushing you away when they were depressed, or breaking up with you since they were at a bad point in life. Not too sure about an “I was drunk” scenario. For one, cheating is almost always intentional. Cheaters know what they are doing when committing such actions.
- Am I willing to put in the work to build the trust? Rebuilding will take lots of effort. This means controlling a bad habit of bringing up the past and “beating up” the person over and over. You must also control your anger. Anger will always be in the way of forgiveness.
Please note, this is not professional advice, but rather my own experiences. One hard lesson I learned is that forgiveness is a choice.
So, are you willing to forgive?